Las Cruces

We made it to Las Cruces, NM on Sunday, February 23 around mid afternoon after many hours of driving.  Merrilyn welcomed us to her home and we had a delightful evening of catching up.  She prepared a delicious meal and we relaxed with wine and conversation.  Exhaustion set in early so we headed to bed early.

On Monday morning, Merrilyn invited several former colleagues and friends to join us for coffee and homemade treats at her home.  New Mexico State University was my first collegiate position after obtaining my Ph.D.  It is also where my first two sons, Matthew and Kevin, were born.  This was Flossie's first visit and I had not been in Las Cruces for over 25 years.  I had lots of sentimental feelings about that time in my life.  I was so busy with first job, first house, first and second baby that I did not have a lot of time for reflecting.  I just had to keep moving.

Our First Home

Now looking back I realize what an important personal and professional time it was for me and I am grateful for supportive friends and colleagues who encouraged me to learn and grow.  While I was in NM I received a college award for teaching, the state award for New Mexico Home Economist of the year and a national award as an American Association of Family and Consumer Sciences Outstanding Young Achiever.  I was awarded a Kellogg Fellowship and as a result experienced leadership development with 40 some professional colleagues from across the country in a variety of fields.  I also was promoted and tenured at NMSU.  In the six years I was in Las Cruces a lot happened and it was a time of very positive growth for me.  I can look back and appreciate what a wonderful time that was in my life, even though it felt like a whirlwind at the time.

Organ Mountains and a sample of the painted water towers

On Monday morning, Merrilyn invited several of those former colleagues to join us for coffee and homemade treats at her home.  Again, I had not seen most of them in 25 years.  In one morning together 25 years dropped away.  We quickly caught up on personal, family and professional lives.  We shared losses, successes, major life events and similarities that were parts of all of our lives.  Many of my colleagues are retired and shared their active and rewarding lives as retirees.  It is a morning I will treasure for the rest of my life.  It also gave me a chance to share history with Flossie that she knew but now got to see in real time.

That afternoon I visited NMSU to talk with the Extension people about programs that were currently going on for adults over 55.  Like us, there is some programming but the university involvement in limited.  NMSU does not have an Osher grant which seems to be the base for the other universities we visited.  They do have an exceptional multimedia program and it was fascinating to see how many states they were partnering with (including UConn) to share that expertise.  The building where I was housed is totally remodeled.  The whole campus has grown and is a tribute to the state of NM and its continued investment in education.  A small group of retired people have started a program 20 years ago with administrative support from Dona Ana Community College.  They have four sessions a semester on a topic of interest at a local assistive living center.  I met with the Chair of their Board.  Their attendance is anywhere from 80 to 150 people but they are struggling to recruit more volunteers to keep the program going.

Merrilyn gave us a wonderful tour of all the beautiful places around the area.  Old Mesilla is as beautiful as ever.  We were so entranced with the Organ Mountains that we took pictures from every angle.  Unfortunately, we didn't take enough of the rest of the area.  We went to El Paso to get the IPad fixed.  Being on the border of Mexico continues to contribute to a smog surrounding the city.  El Paso and Las Cruces have grown far beyond what I could have imagined.  The schools are architecturally beautiful and all keeping within the Southwest themes.  Las Cruces now has four high schools.  There was one when I lived there.

When I look at the lives of the many vibrant retirees I met in Las Cruces, I am reminded of the busting of stereotypes of what the "third stage" of life is like.  After 20 years of retirement and entering ages in the 80's, these people are still traveling, learning, and enjoying a full life.  They care for others and volunteer in organizations that are making generous and needed contributions to their communities.  They are vital not only to their communities but serve and look after each other.

I am blessed to remain in contact with Merrilyn over the past 25 years.  She has visited me in my many moves across the country and we have seen each other through professional connections.  As I reflect on my life, I owe Merrilyn so much.  She was the leader of our department and valued me for the contributions I made.  I am quite sure she was the author or contributor to every award I received and wrote me many letters of recommendation.  She is the ultimate mentor, colleague, friend, and supporter.  She is also a tremendous host.  Thank you, Merrilyn.  I hope you know how much you mean to me and how grateful I am that you are part of my life journey.

Merrilyn

effervescent educator
concerned caretaker
giving Grammie
learned listener
fabulous friend
vital, vivacious, valued

Merrilyn

Texas provided five days of vistas that were amazing.  We also lost our computer capabilities and so we got behind on our blog.  This entry is our sharing some we could capture in pictures.  Enjoy!

Houston

Campsite View

campsite view

Campsite 

Blue Elbow Swamp

See the alligator???

Steel Cowboys in the Distance

80 MPH

Driving into the Sunset

We arrived in San Antonio on Thursday and found our KOA.  A GPS is a wonderful thing!  We got set up and because everything was working it was a snap.  We then went to Big Lou's for dinner.  A local place known for its Irish potatoes (potatoes, bacon, and cheese--we ate them for you, Mom) and a pint of Heineken for a dollar.  We ordered the Heineken and Angry Orchard hard cider.  We watched the Olympics and learned our women's hockey team had lost to the Canadians.  Not happy.  We ended up with cowboys buying us drinks.  We were very responsible and bolted after two rounds.

Went back, giggling, to the RV and worked on the blog.  The pictures are being the challenge when the internet is slow. The sense of smell brings back so many memories.  We miss camping and campfires. The smell of the campfires brought it all back. We miss our families. We both prefer an RV to a tent especially in the rain.

The next day we went into San Antonio and thoroughly enjoyed our brief visit.  We toured the Alamo and learned William Johnson from PA was one of the heroes of the Alamo. BJ informed us he has led many lives!  The historical society has tried hard to pay homage to all the heroes of the Alamo; the military, Texans of all races and cultures, women, and children. The brutal loss of lives in such a magnitude is hard to fathom. The use of war to settle a difference in our beliefs continues to this day. Why?

The Alamo made us want to more deeply reflect on the history of the region and try to understand.  Really understanding history means reading more than one opinion or history book.  Perhaps the draw to non-fiction that many elderly feel is to help them understand different  perspectives of events.

Alamo

We had a wonderful time on the Riverwalk.  It is beautiful, romantic, and historic.  We ate at Luciano's on the Riverwalk.  The father of our niece, Gab (wife of Brian Johnson and mother of Ava and Lucas), owns the restaurant. We were treated to the most scrumptious Italian dinner either of us had ever had.  What a delight!  Bianca and Rosa, Gab's aunt and cousin, were our gracious hosts!  We would highly recommend Luciano's for both the food and hospitality to everyone!

Riverwalk

Riverwalk

Riverwalk

Flossie, Rosa, Bianca and Cathy at Luciano

View from our table

View from Table

On the way home we met a retired couple who were also staying at the KOA.  They were in a large motor home with a truck behind it right next to us.They were returning from the fracking fields of Texas near the Mexican border.  Their quote was "Stay away from fracking!" They had been serving as the gatekeepers of an enormous oil and fracking production for six months.   We believe they said they were paid $1000 per week for 24/7 duty with all expenses paid. The dirt road that bought them off site was 7-8 miles long.  She said it took her an hour to get to any grocery store.

They left in quite a hurry.  When they took the job they knew there could be random drug and alcohol testing and firearms checks at any time.  They thought it was for the workers on the rig.  When the inspector asked to search their motor home they were quite surprised.  They told the inspector that they had a small 22 in  the home.  They had to pack up and leave immediately.  

His job on site was to man the gates.  She is an artist who makes dolls and jewelry and she used the time to replenish her stock.  We found it an exotic example of the elderly using various means to supplement their income.  

Friday, 2/2/14

We arrived in Galveston about 5 o'clock on Wednesday.  We had a scenic ferry boat ride out onto the Island after a long ride with the Gulf of Mexico on one side and cattle grazing on the other.  We had dinner, stopped to get gas and met our hero.  He was pumping gas at the next pump and noticed that we were from CT.  He started to talk to us about just retiring and taking a 6 week trip in his RV.  We told him that we were having some trouble with our electricity in the motorhome.  After giving us his Kroger card to use and his ten cent gas discount, we offered to look at our RV the next day and see what he could do. We took his card and told him we would give him a call the next day.

When we got to the RV site we told our families about our encounter with an extraordinarily kind man.  We were told to buy mace and taser guns. Obviously they were a little scared for us. I think we were a little wary ourselves.  It didn't help that we went into Kroger's and were texting each other on a thread we were sharing with our families.  "Where are you, Cathy?" started the conversation that was meant for only the two of us and our kids went mildly hysterical!

That night the lights did not work, the refrigerator did not work, and the water (toilet) did not work.  We hooked up to the campsite's electric supply and we got electricity which allowed us to use appliances and plug in lights. We both crawled into bed and slept soundly to the sounds of the Gulf but wanted our home on wheels to work.

Our visit to the Galveston Osher Life-Long Learning Institute (OLLI) at the University of Texas Medical Branch was insightful and inspiring.  The program is off-campus in a community center that also houses programs like WIC and other community-based programs.  The university rents 6400 square feet of space which allows for offices, classrooms, small groups, demonstrations and exercise programs.  The Director, Michelle, had a clear passion for serving the over 55 population through both academic enrichment and community building.  Perhaps the strongest message we heard when we were there was the strong sense of community that everyone felt while at the Institute.  The other critical component was that all the programs are evidence based and academic oriented.  The OLLI and the faculty at UTMB have partnered on refereed articles about both the techniques used in the courses as well as participant outcomes.  We met faculty and participants who could not offer enough praise for the program.  Doctors recommend their patients participate for both physical and mental health.  Their partnerships include programs with the schools for intergenerational learning, the parks for outdoor programs, the Red Cross for CPR training, and many connections to experts in every field.  The students at UTMB who are studying Gerontology do a part of their residency at OLLI so that they can learn about the healthy aging population.  Michelle admits that she and her staff are underpaid - she only began being paid anything in the past five years - but they all love what they are doing and it shows in each of the quality programs that they offer.

Mildred (volunteer coordinator), Michelle (Director) and students

After our delightful and informative meeting with Michelle, we called Tony and met him at a location where he was helping out someone else.  He had us follow him to Marty's (another very nice man) City Auto and park.  Tony proceeded to fix our lighting problems and made arrangements for Marty to take a look at our squeaking brakes at 8:30 the next morning.

We took the rest of the afternoon and toured Galveston.  What a surprise the island is! On one side there is the harbor where the ferries dock, the railroads run and most of the industry is located.  On the other side is a beautiful beach and fine resorts.  Jetties jut out into the Gulf along with amusement park piers.  In the mile between the harbor and Gulf is the historical district with its fine Victorian homes, shops,  gorgeous churches and Galveston College and Texas University Medical .  We drove on a wooden sculpture tour.  Trees that were scheduled to be removed were carved into intricate sculptures.

Bird Sculpture and Victorian Home

Mermaid and Dolphins

Victorian Home Decorated for Mardi Gras

Sacred Heart Parish

Galveston Mardi Gras House

We ended the day looking for some place to watch the Olympics. By this time we were surrounded by a dense fog.  We drove past our campsite and found a very unusual bar on the beach.  It was totally open, served nothing but drinks, and had three men at the bar, period! The bartender shared the number of a pizza place that would deliver to "Woody's" and we ate our pizza and watched our female bobsledders win.

Beach View from back of our RV Site

After a great night with the lights working we met Tony at Marty's and left the RV to be repaired.  Marty drove us to a local Mexican restaurant that served a delicious breakfast around the corner from the garage.  Tony drove over with us and introduced us to the people who owned the restaurant. Needless to say we were treated royally.

Upon return to the garage we asked Tony, who had come back after completing another "chore",  if he knew anything about refrigerators. In a matter of minutes he located the problem, had the fuse, and our automatic pilot light was again working.  We now could keep things cold! Our squeaky brakes turned out to be a sensor that was installed improperly.

Little did we know when we met Tony that he possessed the skills of a master mechanic and the heart of an angel. We had not even planned on coming to Galveston yet we drove out with a fully functioning RV and some wonderful new friends.

Our father taught us early that if he stopped to help people that people would help us when we needed it.  Tony sure did that!  Thanks, Dad. Tony's philosophy of life is "I go to bed every night and sleep well.  I get up in the morning and do what I love." His passion for helping people is exemplary.

February 18, 2014

We drove into New Orleans at night while the NBA All-Stars were getting ready to strut their stuff.  The  Jam was at the Super Dome and the cars were flying past us trying to get there.  It was a bit hellacious.  Cathy was the hero driver this time.  She kept saying, "Please, don't let us end up in the French Quarter!" Having never been there I did not know what she was talking about until we visited the next day.  An RV and the French Quarter would not have mixed.  Plus we have the word, "Love", plastered on the side of the RV and that may have led to some assumptions (David, we are getting the mace!).  Thankfully, our B&B was in the Garden District,

It was about eight o'clock when we turned onto Prytania St., one block off St. Charles.  Neither of us could see the numbers on the houses so after two times around the block (these streets are somewhat bigger than in the French Quarter but not that much!) I ended up walking and Cathy was driving slowly.  We actually managed to park on the street right in front of the B&B.

Our lodging, the Henry Howard House, was built in  the late 1800's with beautiful large rooms with high ceilings and furnished in the style of the period. Fellow Immaculatans, there was a lot about it that reminded us of IC (never will say IU!).  High ceilings of the Green Room and the rooms in Villa Maria and Lourdes' suites, the tile work on the floor, and the chandeliers are but a few examples. The saintly statues and the nuns were the only things missing.  We figured out those halls and our B&B  were built around the same time.

After a lovely breakfast we got on a street car headed to the French Quarter.  The whole town is gearing up for Mardi Gras. Harlequins, beads, flags etc. were everywhere! We managed to get in all the sight-seeing we needed:the St. Louis Cathedral, the Mississippi River, the bands, the art-lined streets, the art, and the people!  We ate and drank the food/drink that make the French Quarter famous.  We had beignets and cafe au lait at Cafe du Monde, ate oysters in every form at the Acme Oyster House, and ended up with Laura's Pralines, an indulgence we share with Whoopie.  We kept looking for a NBA star to have a picture taken.  We figured we would impress a few Love cousins, especially the Johnsons, but none were to be found. 

After a lovely breakfast we got on a street car headed to the French Quarter.  The whole town is gearing up for Mardi Gras. Harlequins, beads, flags etc. were everywhere! We managed to get in all the sight-seeing we needed:the St. Louis Cathedral, the Mississippi River, the bands, the art-lined streets, the art, and the people!  We ate and drank the food/drink that make the French Quarter famous.  We had beignets and cafe au lait at Cafe du Monde, ate oysters in every form at the Acme Oyster House, and ended up with Laura's Pralines, an indulgence we share with Whoopie Goldberg.  We kept looking for a NBA star to have a picture taken.  We figured we would impress a few Love cousins, especially the Johnsons, but none were to be found. 

We managed to speak with and get a few pictures of older people who certainly were not typical. As we reflected on our grandparents who did little or no travel and our parents who did travel a bit, we began to understand that this is another stereotype the boomers are out to break.  Retired boomers travel!  The kids have left the nest and so have the boomers. They visit our national treasures near and far from home and stay in tents, campers, homes, or hotels,  Although financial concerns hold some from pursuing their long-held travel dreams all of us eager to learn about our wonderful world.

On Monday we walked the Garden District.  What gorgeous homes!  The live oaks are massive that line the streets and their roots are too.  The Lafayette Cemetery is in the midst of the Garden District.  There are 30,000 people buried there, many of them infants ("Our Little Laddie").   Because of the water table all the graves are above ground. We kept looking for Lafayette's tomb. We still don't know if he's buried there! The landscaping, the garden sculptures, the trees in bloom, the Mardi Gras decorations, all helped to add to a perfect walk.

We managed to find the Irish neighborhoods and ended the day with a beer and a wine in the Irish House.  The chef/owner is from Ireland and is carrying on many traditions.  He has five daughters.  The first four are five year-old quadruplets and the fifth is a three year-old who according to him rules the roost. 

(We have many pictures but where we are right now is taking forever to upload them so I give up and will post this without them.  They are on Facebook and I will try to add them later when we have better wifi service.) 

It is now Tuesday and we are in Texas on our way to Galveston. Going across to the island on a free ferry!

Florida 2/12-2/15 2014

We thought we were blessed to leave South Carolina before the ice but the drive to Florida was long and hard.  We drove through drenching rain and what should have been 4 hours took us eight.  Floss drove the hardest part and it was dark for the last hour and most everyone knows driving at night is hard for her.

Being with Cheryl and David has been just what we needed.  Catching up on each other's lives and enjoying the Florida sunshine is wonderful.  We are introduced to all the people who love them here and it makes me happy to see how much they are loved and appreciated.  I am honored to have worked with Cheryl and we have become best of friends.  We have been treated like queens in their lovely home.

We have talked quite a bit about retirement.  Dave and Cheryl have been retired for ten years.  Their lives are filled with travel to family, cruises all over the world, and engagement with their community.  They took us to the "Villages" which is one of the largest retirement communities in Florida.  The ratio of men to women is 1 to 11 and they have the highest STD rate in the country.  That is a statistic that surprises people with stereotypes about the sex life of the elderly.  Clearly, there continues to be a seeking of partners at all ages.  There were many more women out and about in the community than men.  However, there did seem to be comradarie for men in the bars.

The next day we took a trip to Winter Garden and again the number of retirees and facilities for the elderly were evident. Golf carts were everywhere in this beautiful outdoor shopping mall we visited. We met many snow birds. It gave us a chance to talk with people from all over the country. They love Florida but they hold abiding love for their cold weather state. 

The financial worries for some are real. The 73 year-old woman who continues to work as a hostess and the older couple from Belgium who could not return for the funeral of a parent are but a few examples. Scamming the elderly is a continuing problem. Trust is a wonderful virtue but when it is misplaced you feel terribly violated. Losing your life savings to a trusted person is unconscionable and unimaginable particularly for the elderly.

Between observations we did a little shopping. When we are together we really have to monitor each other on the shopping. We have not been toooo bad YET! We took a pinkie swear today that buying cloths was done for the rest of the trip. Want to take a few bets on that one?

Cheryl and David are a perfect example of what retirement/aging can be. They have made the Minneola area THEIR community. In every store or restaurant they call people by name, know their stories, and have become their friends. They are generous to everyone. Cheryl hugs and David smiles.

It was appropriate for us to be where we were for Valentine's Day. We were reminded of what a difference hugs can make in your life. There is physical evidence that a 20 second or longer hug makes a positive change in your body chemistry. We are blessed to come from an extended family where hugs are the norm.

Together David and Cheryl lavish their love on Joey, their treasured dog. David built a special ramp so Joey, who is fourteen years old, can easily climb into bed with them. He is a lucky dog!

A new special love for these two are David's motorcycles. Cheryl trusts David implicitly driving and is very comfortable on the back of the Harley "Bagger". They are planning a trip to Oregon this summer (three months) to visit Wendy, their daughter, and her husband, Greg, and their granddaughter, Maya. They will pull the motorcycle in a trailer behind their Jeep cross country and then drive along California's Route 101 on the bike.

Like all of us David and Cheryl have had painful life events that shaped them in their younger years and still are working through some difficult moments. Some of us learn from those events and some of us don't. Cheryl and David seem to have learned and chosen love as the answer. Their nicknames for each other are Precious and Champion. They personify those names to each other and others daily.

Cherish is the Word.........

He calls her 

Precious

She calls him

Champion

Names

Reflections

Heartfelt labels

conveying deep meaning

Was she always

precious?

Was he always a

champion?

Does a thoughtful/thoughtless

name define?

Do words hold the power

to create?

Precious Champion

self-fulfilling Names

grow and glow warmly

as they age

What a perfect ending to our day!

The last few days have been learning the "what and where and how" of the motor home.  Every time someone asked me a question my answer was mostly "I have no idea."  I trusted in the motor home gods to get me wherever I needed to go.  Besides, it was so cold in CT when I left, I could not stand to be outside very long before my fingers and toes were frozen.  I thought when I got to DC I could learn there with my sons but it was almost as cold there.  In South Carolina, it was far from warm but at least it was in the 40's.

My nephew, David, became the most kind and PATIENT teacher I have ever known.  He wanted to build our (Flossie, his mother, and I) confidence so his mantra was "you got this!"  He left us with tasks to do together and after awhile came to teach us what we could not figure out on our own.  We are so grateful for his expertise and love in helping us on our journey.

For a laugh, here are a few of the things we encountered:

The water-
We first tried to connect the water hose to the hot water tank and were connecting it to the pressure gauge for the hot water tank.

 We read that we needed to empty the waste water and my neighbors, Jeannie and Wally, were there visiting Bill, and we solicited their help.  They were sorry as it turned into a smelly situation.  We did find the correct valves and intake but not before Wally got a splash or two and Jeannie a whiff! But we have that part down pat now!  Of course, we may never use that bathroom ...... just in case!

We then flushed the system and spent time trying to find where the potable water went in (and learned from David that the word potable has a long o) and proceeded to fill that tank and clean it with a bleach mixture.  Cathy and I then spent an hour and a half trying to find the water pump. We opened each of the 8 compartments at least twice thinking we had missed it and, of course, not knowing what we were looking for anyway!  David was busy putting a new step and kick plate on the door and installing the bike rack and we did not want to ask him for the 800th thing (in the meantime Bill is dying.  He was confined to sitting on the couch and not helping!). David finished, walked in to the RV, took out the kitchen drawers and said, "Here's the water pump.".  Then he turned around and saw the button on the opposite wall-which in the RV is 18" away- and said, "Is this the button you are looking for?"  Are you getting the picture? At that point we all had glasses of wine in our hands so we toasted and congratulated David on his expertise!

The above gives you an idea of our mechanical expertise.  Thank God for David! The saga continued. We ended up leaving one day late but all was well and our little home on wheels is cozy and well organized (again in part due to David and his mounting organizers all over the RV).  Thelma and Louise also gained some knowledge.  When the propane man was graciously in the RV (he was checking our house water system) David informed him that we would be learning each step of the way.  We in a chorus answered, "There will be kind men all across America!" And yes, David, we will buy mace!

We woke up on Tuesday to a pouring rain and 33 degrees.  Poor David was inflating all the tires to 65 pounds, putting and locking the bikes on the rack, finishing touches inside, rebuilding the table, draining and refilling the potable water tank and finishing the kick plate.  We finished up securing everything and making our home comfortable. 

We woke up on Tuesday to a pouring rain and 33 degrees.  Poor David was inflating all the tires to 65 pounds, putting and locking the bikes on the rack, finishing touches inside, rebuilding the table, draining and refilling the potable water tank and finishing the kick plate.  We finished up securing everything and making our home comfortable.  

We left to David videoing our departure and a dedication of our trip to Mom and Dad.  We were singing, "Off we go into the wild blue yonder", which we sang often as kids to commemorate Dad's naval service.  Finished it off with "California here we come!" Dad will be watching and protecting us from on high and Mom will be working the rosary at Brookline.

About two hours out we had gotten to Pawley's Island.  Chapman wanted to know if we had taken a nap! We had filled up with gas and, of course, neither of us minds stopping at any point.  We ate at Landolfi's in Pawley's Island.  Highly recommended to us and absolutely delicious!  We will return.

We realized the back step is haunted.  It refused to retract even though the motor to retract it ran.  By the time we stopped on the other side of Savannah for the night and tried to turn on the inside lights that battery was dead as a doornail.  Our genius driver, Cathy, parked under a light so we did not have to turn on the inside lights! Figuring out what runs what (propane, battery, electric or gas/generator) is our challenge!

Due to weather and exhaustion we decided on a hotel for our first night.  We ate at the bar in Ruby Tuesday's in order to watch the Olympics (Flying Tomato what happened? Shaun was gracious in his loss.  A lesson for us all.).  The pairs figure skating took our breath away with its beauty. The first American win by a woman in luge took our breath away with fear. Our waitress was good, Shannon, but we decided she was not as competent or beautiful as you!

In our room we watched more Olympics and crashed!

We are now on our way to Cheryl and David's in Minneola, FL for a couple of days. The beauty of sisters is that we complete each other sentences and haven't stopped laughing.